One Moment
by LA1
Summary: Harry Kim reflects on one of the most significant moments of his past as he enjoys one in the present.


ONE MOMENT ****

ONE MOMENT

SUMMARY: Harry finds himself in a special moment, reflecting on one of the most significant moments of his entire life.

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"I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."

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I wonder where that thought came from, and then I realize—that moment was the major crossroad in my life that has led me here, to this perfect moment.

I sit here, cradling my best friend's new baby on my propped up legs. Little bottom, coiled-up, chubby little legs rest on my belly. She's finally fallen asleep; guess I've passed her test. She knows she's free to take advantage of me with impunity now. I knew it long before she was ever born.

I'm glad they agreed to scrap our dinner plans and take a nap instead. *smile* They look like hell, ha! When I offer to keep my date with this sweet thing while they catch a few winks, they look dubious. They hover when anybody holds her, even the Captain - like one of us might refuse to give her back. 

Would I mind, they ask? Huh! I can't help smiling, thinking about their mock insult when I tell 'em I can _always_ have dinner with them...and lunch, and breakfasts, and after seven years, face it - it's no great thrill anymore, compared to an evening with a new woman.

And they let me. Just like that. They know I know where everything is; I helped them rearrange the place for her. They laughed their - um, butts - off at me when I came across the breast milk in the portable cooler and blushed. Hey, who could blame a guy? C'mon!

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"I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."

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I don't know where that response came from, but it felt right the moment it left my mouth. Solid. Like snap-locking an energy cartridge into a phaser rifle. Final, and totally right.

And absolutely the _last_ response anyone would have expected out of the 'real' me at that time. Including me! *slow head shake* 

He had warning buoys posted all around him - like gravitic mines. Since I had been 'educated' about Paris by officers as lofty as Commander Cavit and Dr. Fitzgerald, I was potentially making things difficult for myself on my first ship-out. I know they were only looking out for me - they had my profile, knew I was pretty sheltered, and so clean that I squeaked. They had my best interests at heart...

But it was Tom who called me Ensign Eager.

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"I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."

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I don't know. Maybe we would have been great friends in time anyway, without that one moment - Tom eventually realized he was worthy of friendship, and I'm pretty easy-going with mine. But how different a lot of things may have been, you know? 

Would he have ever felt comfortable enough with me, at that time, to break into my quarters in the middle of the night and invite me to Sandrine's? It was definitely an 'invitation only' kinda place in the beginning - not unlike Tom himself. And I'm not so sure I would have survived my disappointment (what an understatement!) when Telek and the micro-wormhole turned out to be a time-warped bust. Those totally fabricated emergencies, forcing me out of my darkened room, each more ludicrous than the one before! I knew it was him, of course…but I also knew I needed to be 'saved' by someone other than myself. I really had sunk low after that one, after realizing there wasn't going to be a quick-fix homecoming…

When I got to thinking how much time and trouble he expended to 'babysit' me...well, I grew a little, recaptured my sense of duty to Voyager, and strengthened my sense of place here. His efforts must have worked - when I was 'returned' to Earth and Libby, I couldn't believe the need I felt to set things 'right', the urgency to get back to this place where I had cried a river only weeks before. I couldn't abandon the people who were more than my shipmates. I couldn't let down _this_ family.

That's not to say I never get sick for home still—just that now, I know I have family here to seek out for comfort. All because of a pushy, brash-tongued, big-hearted idiot. Go figure, Little Girl.

.

And oh, man, the Akritirian prison. It's like a shuttle wreck that you never wanted to see, but the image comes to you sometimes in your sleep, regardless. I'm positive that Tom would have stopped that gang from making me their new toy, if for no other reason than because we were shipmates. That's just the kind of guy he is, though he couldn't admit it to himself at that time, and no slouch at pulling off a good con job. 

But without the bond of that one moment, that first day, before the Caretaker...would I have killed him? I don't know. I'm honestly not certain I wouldn't have.

I just...I don't know.

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"I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."

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Well, who's the babysitter now, eh? Things come full circle, more or less. You really do get what you give, in the long run.

Here...if I swaddle the lap blanket around her...like so...maybe I'll stop tweaking these toes, and marveling at how tiny her forearm is, compared to the width of my hand here...

*smile* 

She looks like a burrito. Or a leola root dumpling. *frown* Ugh, no, definitely the burrito. Tom would prefer the burrito analogy. I'll have to show them both when they wake up. 

B'Elanna will pretend to be annoyed that Uncle Harry's been having a laugh at her helpless child's expense. Tom, in his inimitable frankness, will make the comparison between refried beans and what's normally under her little wrap. Perennially, it seemed, right now. B'Elanna will crack him one on the head with the corner of her data padd...

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"I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."

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*leaning forward, inhaling deeply* How can anyone have hair this soft, and smell _so_ good?

I was right; I don't need anyone to choose for me.

I think I did a damn fine job for myself this time around.

=/\= END =/\=


End file.
